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More advice from the coach!

26 December 2022

Would you like to be successful?


Do you want to know how to be successful and reach your goals?


Level: Advanced


As a coach, I meet many people who think about how to be successful and spend a huge amount of time, energy and resources on being successful, without achieving the success they strive for. However, the issue of being successful is more complicated than many believe and past setbacks and failures are most likely due to some of the factors mentioned below.


A common misconception is that it is the coach who will ensure that the client is successful, without the client having to do anything themselves. However, it is not coaching, but counseling and there is then an obvious risk that the client "blindly" follows the counselor's advice and therefore copies the counselor's life. Coaching is instead about the client developing in himself and receiving the rewards of his development.


The article below is a brief summary of how successful people succeed.




The article is about how you can be successful, what will ultimately decide is whether you follow these tips or not!? Above all, you who take the time to read and work with the information contained in the article, will begin to pave the way to your success by showing yourself that you are willing to do the work required.


1 – Understand what success is!


What is success?


To start from the right place, what exactly is success? If you search for the word success, you will get the answer: Success is succeeding in something and achieving or exceeding certain goals or expectations.


Ok, then we have the foundation clear in what is success, but the follow-up question is, in which areas do you want to be successful? Most of the time it's about status, money and career, but the truth is that you can be successful in anything. You can, for example, be a successful parent, successful in being a good friend or successful in something you do, no matter how big or small it is. Who would have thought that someone could be successful in, for example, crocheting?




You are probably already successful in several areas, but which you neither see nor understand, so think about the areas in which you are already successful and feel free to write them down.


Then write down in which other areas or which goals you want to be successful in and define these carefully.


When are you successful?


When we talk about being successful, it is important to also clarify that there are many degrees of success. Some train, for example, to compete and win the Olympics, while others train to feel good, which are 2 completely different purposes of being successful.




Write down and define when you are successful, because otherwise you will be running towards endless goals. Set an end goal or if you are working towards bigger goals, clearly defining the sub-goals can make you feel successful in the meantime.


For who do you want to be successful?


The next question to be successful, is who do you want to be successful for, yourself or someone else?


If we take a common example, lose weight:


  1. When you want to lose weight for your own sake, you normally do it to feel better or improve your health.
  2. If you want to lose weight for someone else's sake, you are really doing it for yourself, because you might want to look better and become more attractive to attract other people's interest, which can be both about love, but also in career or to achieve other successes.

The difference in the question between these is subtle, but in example 2 it really depends on you wanting to get/fill something in yourself that you think you lack. However, the result of the difference is extensive, because if you do things to be successful in order to get/fill something in yourself, it is endless journey. All research shows that, for example, consumption to "impress" others gives short-term dopamine kicks that pass and then need to be replaced with new kicks. So you have ended up addicted to kicks.


Note: Many who chase success, do not realize that the very pursuit of success, in itself, creates non-success by causing constant chasing, stress, worry, feeling of dissatisfaction, etc.




Fundera på vem du vill vara framgångsrik för, dig själv eller någon annan och om du gör det för någon annan, finns det något i dig som du vill få eller fylla? Skriv ned din tankar och observationer.


Success key


Think about who you want to be successful for, yourself or someone else and if you are doing it for someone else, is there something in you that you want to get or fill? Write down your thoughts and observations.


2 – Keep yourself motivated!


A common question that comes up around being successful is the question of being motivated.


What does motivation mean?


If we search for the word motivation again, we find in Wikipedia: Motivation is the psychological characteristics that give an organism driving force, that is, arouse it to action towards a desired goal and induce, control, and maintain certain goal-directed actions. It is the inner driving force behind behaviors such as which choices you choose, how long you take before you get started, how much commitment and endurance you have, as well as how you feel and think during the execution of the activity.


In short, motivation gives us the drive to choose or opt out of something and that's the key to whether motivation is enough or not!?


Many believe that motivation is crucial to success, but motivation also has many nuances that can be both known and hidden.


For example, if we go back to previous examples of losing weight, the motivation may be to lose weight for one's own sake or for the sake of others. If we therefore choose to go to a gym to exercise and lose weight, there are a number of usually hidden negative motivations eg getting sweaty, having to undress in a changing room where others see my undressed body, worry about not being able to do what others can handle it when I do training sessions with others, etc. These factors will counter my motivation to go to the gym and work out, often without me realizing it.


The motivation is also influenced by others, who either encourage you to succeed or who oppose, because they are worried that you will succeed and abandon them or make them feel worse.


In order to achieve your goals and stay motivated, you need to make it realistic and achievable to reach your goals. One of the most common reasons why many people do not reach their goals is that they want too much in too short a time, eg to lose 20 kg in 1 month. When they have lost 6 kg in 3 weeks and begin to realize that they will not succeed, they lose all their motivation and begin to take comfort and then gain the weight again. In this example, it is unrealistic goals and time that destroy motivation.


Important! It is important that the plan is realistically adapted to the motivation that you want/can put in to get a change and reach your goals. A simple example is that if you want to lose 20 kg and do it in 3 or 12 months, the need for motivation is very great between these goals. So it takes significantly more motivation to lose 20 kg in 3 months than in 12 months and most people miss this, which makes them fail/give up. Take stock of what motivation and resources you have available for you to truly achieve your goals.


Another hidden factor is how your hormones affect your motivation. Here, dopamine is one of the most important hormones, where dopamine is linked to euphoria and a feeling of desire. A dopamine kick, makes you happy, calm, increases concentration and counteracts depression. A feeling of failure thus leads to a decrease in dopamine and if you then eat a piece of chocolate, you get a dopamine kick, so the hidden motivation to eat chocolate will increase.




Motivation is thus about what you feel when you do what you want to be successful in and when the discomfort of these choices becomes greater than the possible and now perhaps uncertain goals, the motivation to continue decreases.


The opposite is, for example, when you get sick and have to start exercising and lose weight, then all of a sudden there is a lot of motivation. The negative part of making these changes is now far less unpleasant than the goal of getting well.


Write down both what gets you motivated and unmotivated!


Success key


To keep motivation at its peak, the goal needs to be greater than the discomfort of reaching the goal. You also need to keep full focus on the goal and not be hindered or disturbed by other things or others. Also focus the goals on what to do, not what not to do! (Eg don't focus on not eating sweets, focus on eating fruit!)


You have previously written down your goals, fill in more benefits and gains that you have with these goals. Add to that which, for example, gives you dopamine kicks.

Now take the above goals and divide them realistically over a period, eg train running 3 days a week for 6 months. Specify what your entire workout should look like, e.g. 3 x 10 rep bench press, 15 minutes on the treadmill, etc.


Then enter motivating milestones so that you feel that you have come a step closer, and please describe how you will celebrate these milestones. Remember to factor in rest and recovery.


Super key!


Share and discuss your goals only with people who support and encourage you!


3 – Self discipline will be the difference!


Motivation in all its glory, but since motivation is affected by how we feel, the weather, etc., i.e. motivation has many dimensions, self-discipline is only on or off. Either you do or you don't. Discipline therefore beats motivation every day.


However, self-discipline is one of the toughest challenges you can face, but once you realize that it makes all the difference, it's just a matter of getting started and sticking to your chosen discipline.


Self-discipline starts with you really deciding, for example, to live more healthily. Based on that, you create a habit, for example, that you exercise 45 minutes 3 days a week before work. A habit is something you do without thinking about it, but it can also become a habit ie something negative, so be careful.




Discipline is therefore about making a choice, on or off, regardless of how you feel. The most important discipline is to stay positive!


Success key


Follow the plan you decided above and resolve to do it at every opportunity you decided. Feel free to use a diary where you write down all your success steps, which bring you closer to your final goals. Celebrate Your Progress!


It can be mentioned in this context that this is what separates successful people as elite athletes from others, who year after year, train every day, regardless of how they feel, the weather or other negative factors.


In conclusion


In summary, if you want to be successful, you need:


  1. Actively choose to be successful in some area or reach a specific goal
  2. Make sure the goal is for your sake, not someone else's
  3. Set clear, specified and realistic goals
  4. Make a plan over time ie some things take longer and then follow that plan

… then you will be successful!


Super key!


When you understand that if you do something eg exercise 45 minutes 3 days a week for 1 full year, you will lose weight and improve your health. Those who do not succeed are those who believe that there is a so-called "quickfix" and who can't stand it. But these usually have to pay for this later in life instead.


You need to think right from the start to be successful in life and you can be successful even without lots of higher education.


Success is not by accident!


Now that you have read this far, you probably realize that success is not about luck, but about a well-thought-out way of working that has been going on for a long time. Unfortunately, that's not what we see from successful people, we see them when they "bloom" and think it just happened... but now you know and the choice is yours!


What do you choose, live life as it is or change and get a new life?


Good luck!




The above text is an excerpt from working methods and methodology in how a coach works to help their clients reach their goals.


If you want to achieve your goals by getting to know yourself and changing your own limiting thoughts and behaviors and having someone to support and encourage you to be successful, contact us.


What do you need to change your life and achieve your goals?


Do you want to try if coaching works for you? - Book a free coaching session >>>


Claes-Goran Hammar

Master coach & mentor

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